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作者有話要説：Ther is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Ben came to rescue: “Can I get you ladies another drink?” he tried to attract their attention away from me.
While Ben was at the bar, Helen came over and took my arm proprietarily. I was a little surprised with the sight of Helen; I couldn’t believe he was still with Vincent. His frequency of changing girlfriends or, you might say sex partners, could be my data for my next IT assignment. I’d seen Helen a couple of times when we both waited outside of the workshop for Ben and Vincent.
She gave my arm a little squeeze, the kind of disarming squeeze your close friends use when you were feeling a little tense that make your heart lighten and warm. My heart leapt now at this unexpected show of affection and closeness, but I half hate myself for it. I’d been there before and I knew it was dangerous to allow myself to be seduced by these girls, even for a second.
“Emma, I haven’t seen you for like, ages. What have you been up to? Things must be wonderful with you!”
“Well….”my mind raced, desperately searching through the images of my normal life for some worthy, interesting gem. The other girl looked over and waited for my answer expectantly. “Things are good, Helen…..and normal.”
“I\\\'ve heard that Ben was going to china with you this Christmas, was that true?” she didn’t wait for my answer and went on talking, “Is he going to meet your parents? They must be thrilled! Ben is so amazing!”
“Well, yes….” I felt like I was celebrity in a talk show, being shoved with tricky questions which I had to carefully pick around to answer.
“Are you doing your internship in England this summer?” she asked in voice of a great significance which I understood: she didn’t think I would be staying in this country after graduation, i.e. where is my relationship with Ben going?
Not that I hadn’t even thought about that before, it’s just it hurts too much every time I try to bring it up. I don’t know what I want to do, if I don’t even know what my life is going to be, let alone my love.
I knew all this but I refused to play along.
“Yes, if I can get an offer, I’m staying.”
“Which companies have you applied for?”
“I’ve only applied for two at the moment, actually.” I tried to make it sound causal, like I didn’t even care much, “PWC and Ernest and Young.”
“Great, but the competition is going to very fierce, isn’t it?”
“Are you girls talking about summer internship?” Hugh joined in, “and PWC! Our little Emma does fancy herself as a bit of a tax manipulator.”
“A tax manipulator? Emma, ignored him, I don’t think he knows where the he is.” Helen tries to lead me back to Ben,” Where is Ben? I don’t want him to think I’ve kidnapped his BELOVED girlfriend.”
I cringed at the emphasis of the word “beloved”.
But Hugh didn’t just let it go, “You must do my tax in the future. I’m going to open a law firm in London, and you will be MY accountant.”
I figured that was a joke or he simply didn’t know who he was talking to. I gave him a smile and said: “Sure.”
Helen clutched my hand into hers so tight it hurt a little, I looked up and said to her: “What’s going on, Helen? Are you alright?”
“Benjamin Chou” she called out. And that was the moment I finally looked around myself. Ben was nowhere to be seen; the only people I know around me right then, were Helen and Hugh, and the latter seemed to find it difficult to balance himself. God, the ball was nowhere close to in full swing yet.
Helen tried to pull me away, but all of the sudden, Hugh grabbed my right arm. Unable to balance myself, my orange juice went to him before my body did and the next thing I knew, my drink was all over Hugh’s 700 hundred pound suit.
The buzz and hum of the crowd, together with my hearing ability went dead; you could almost cut the atmosphere with a knife.
“I’m so sorry, Hugh. Shall we go to the restroom and clean it up?” I offered, the thought of screwing up my first Christmas ball with Ben drown me into depression.
Hearing no sound of respond, I looked up and faced Hugh. I didn’t quite figure out what kind of emotional state his was at, fear got better of me and I started shuddering.
I held out my shaky hand, inviting him to take it and sincerely hoped the whole thing would be over soon.
Instead of taking my hand, he crossed his fingers into mine and dragged me out of the main hall. We walked so fast as if I was floating through the air; I could hear the noise echoing in the hall. He marched and I followed, slogging in my high heels, it was my ankles that kept me moving, not my feet. I had absolutely no idea where we were going, but I felt relieved to be out of there, being saved like a princess from suffocation and her step mother’s evil plan.
